May 2010
1 post
“Great Gam Gam really was a whore.”
– Jan Wolfhouse, Beerfest
April 2010
2 posts
“When life gives you lemons, just say “Fuck the lemons!” and bail.”
– Koonu, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
“I’m on Sex and the City. Hey, Miranda! I’m Samantha. I have sex with...”
– Peter Bretter, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
December 2009
1 post
“I think someone’s had tee many martoonies!”
– Elliot Richards, Bedazzled
September 2009
31 posts
“I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?”
– Jack Byrnes, Meet the Parents
“Get your hand off my dick, buddy!”
– Vida Boheme, To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
“Ain’t nobody here tonight winning Ms. Congeniality.”
– Drag Queen Pageant Contestant, Too Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
“Shut up! Just shut up! I’m gonna bring back three corpses here! And when...”
– Sheriff Dollard, To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar
Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Dr. Steward: Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
Van Helsing: And gynecology.
Dr. Steward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that, too.
“Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora,...”
– Wayne Campbell, Wayne’s World
“She had hands as big as Andre the Giant’s, and she had an Adam’s...”
– Andy, The 40 Year Old Virgin
“I’m gonna slash and gash, cut another hole in your ass. I spill blood on...”
– The Killer, Scary Movie
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
[Evil Bill & Ted are holding the real Bill & Ted over a cliff]
Bill: Ted, we gotta do something!
Ted: Dudes, even though you're doing this, we... we...
Bill: We love you!
Ted: We love you!
Evil Bill, Evil Ted: Fags!
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
[Bill thought Ted was killed]
Bill: Whoa! Ted! You're alive!
Ted: Yeah! I fell out of my suit when I hit the floor.
[they hug]
Bill, Ted: [to each other] Fag!
“That’s a lot of nuts!”
– Shopkeeper, Kung Pow: Enter The Fist
“Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
– Dale Doback, Step Brothers
“When someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!”
– Winston Zeddemore, Ghostbusters
“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
– Dean Wormer, Animal House
“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic...”
– High School Principal, Billy Madison
“I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!”
– Mugatu, Zoolander
“Great Gam Gam really was a whore.”
– Jan Wolfhouse, Beerfest
“It’s that damn Hansel! He’s so hot right now!”
– Mugatu, Zoolander
“I’ve heard that women do fake orgasms, but I’ve never seen one. It...”
– Aldous Snow, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
“She doesn’t even go here!”
– Damian, Mean Girls
“How many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?”
– Ms. Norbury, Mean Girls
“This place is awesome, ‘cause now I can finally get Hepatitis!”
– Sherman Schrader, Accepted
“Hell no! I did not leave the Southside for this!”
– Mr. Duvall, Mean Girls
“All right meow, hand over your license and registration.”
– Mac, Super Troopers
“I hope you have hobo stab insurance.”
– Sherman Schrader, Accepted
“Spiders! The spiders! They want me to tap-dance! I don’t want to...”
– Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
“I wish I wasn’t wearing this FUCKING shirt!”
– Peter Bretter, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
“I’m not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school… or a Chuck E....”
– The Hangover
“You go Glenn Cocco!”
– Mean Girls