When life gives you lemons, just say “Fuck the lemons!” and bail.
— Koonu, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
I’m on Sex and the City. Hey, Miranda! I’m Samantha. I have sex with everyone!
— Peter Bretter, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
I think someone’s had tee many martoonies!
— Elliot Richards, Bedazzled
I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
— Jack Byrnes, Meet the Parents
Get your hand off my dick, buddy!
— Vida Boheme, To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
Ain’t nobody here tonight winning Ms. Congeniality.
— Drag Queen Pageant Contestant, Too Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
Shut up! Just shut up! I’m gonna bring back three corpses here! And when you look up their dresses, and you don’t find something you shouldn’t find, then I don’t know what!
— Sheriff Dollard, To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar
Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Dr. Steward: Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
Van Helsing: And gynecology.
Dr. Steward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that, too.
Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago - excellent. I’ve had plenty of jo-jobs; nothing I’d call a career. Let me put it this way: I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets. Ok, so I still live with my parents, which I admit is bogus and sad. However I do have a cable access show, and I still know how to party. But what I’d really like is to do Wayne’s World for a living. It might happen. Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.
— Wayne Campbell, Wayne’s World
